Who with? vs WIth who? (2024)

If I had to go somewhere with someone, can I ask:
"who do I have to go with?"
"who with do I have to go?"
"with who do I have to go?"

I think I'd better use one of the two former sentences, but I'm not sure. Can you give me your opinion, please?
Thanks a lot once more!!!

This seems to be a running theme today.

"With" should take "whom", not "who", since it is the object of a preposition. In formal writing I would expect "With whom do I have to go?" In everyday conversation, I would expect to hear "Who do I have to go with?" I suppose it's one of those rules of grammar that are in transition. Everyday usage will probably win out one day, but I would still expect to have "who do I have to go with" marked wrong in an English class.

Vanskap said:

So, James, could I say:
"I went to the ball with James, with whom I danced all night"
or could I say: ..."whom I danced all night with" (?)
Thank you so much in advance!!!

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Ha, I know I shouldn't answer any grammar questions, but one's got to try sometimes

--I went to the ball with James, with whom I danced all night.
= ......................................., who I danced all night with. (the not-standard one)

Actually I prefer:
--James and I went to the ball and danced all night together.
(and sorry, James went with me, not you)

nichec said:

Ha, I know I shouldn't answer any grammar questions, but one's got to try sometimes

--I went to the ball with James, with whom I danced all night.
= ......................................., who I danced all night with. (the not-standard one)

Actually I prefer:
--James and I went to the ball and danced all night together.
(and sorry, James went with me, not you)

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Thank you both for your help! Nichec: James went with you? you've broken my hearth!

nichec said:

Ha, I know I shouldn't answer any grammar questions, but one's got to try sometimes

--I went to the ball with James, with whom I danced all night.
= ......................................., who I danced all night with. (the not-standard one)

Actually I prefer:
--James and I went to the ball and danced all night together.
(and sorry, James went with me, not you)

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Heartbreaker!

Anyway, on a more serious note. "Who" would definitely be more common in everyday speech, but whom is always correct whether we choose to put the preposition at the beginning or at the end.

Whom do I have to dance with?
Whom do you want to go to the dance with?

So,

"With whom do you celebrate X?" and "Whom do you celebrate X with?" are grammatically correct and certainly used in formal writing more, right?

But...

"With who do you celebrate X?" and "Who do you celebrate X with?" are grammatically incorrect and certainly used in informal writing and spoken language more, right?

entangledbank said:

No, wrong. 'Who do you celebrate X with?' is grammatically correct and is what everyone says. You don't even have to think of other ways of saying it. If you always say and write that, that is the best English.

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Thank you, by the way, I just want to clear that I mean "a special day" by saying X not "someone." But I think you think that 'Who do you celebrate X with?" is the best choice of all in all conditions, right?

But what about the others? I wonder it because I see all of them used when I searched for them on the internet. Even if they are grammatically correct a native wouldn't these kinds of sentences, would he?

nh01 said:

So,

"With whom do you celebrate X?" and "Whom do you celebrate X with?" are grammatically correct and certainly used in formal writing more, right?

But...

"With who do you celebrate X?" and "Who do you celebrate X with?" are grammatically incorrect and certainly used in informal writing and spoken language more, right?

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One more question about it: What is the role of the type of the verb in choosing one of the questions?

entangledbank said:

No, wrong. 'Who do you celebrate X with?' is grammatically correct and is what everyone says. You don't even have to think of other ways of saying it. If you always say and write that, that is the best English.

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You are right and you give us the confirmation of the everyday usage from a native. Moreover, there is a chapter in Michael Swan’s ‘Advanced Oxford English Grammar Course’ (2019) where he says that structures of the type ‘Who with?’ or ‘Who to?’ are common in conversation, encouraging their usage.

CaptainZero said:

Yes, it's fine. It's not so much grammatical correctness that's important here, it's usage. If a phrase is routinely used by native speakers, and has been for a long time (as is the case with this one), then it's correct. The "grammatically correct" alternative is "With whom?", but that would sound overly formal to most people.

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Got it. Thank you!!