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Who and whom are both pronouns. Who generally refers to the subject, while whom always refers to the object in a sentence.
Examples
- Subject: Who are you?
- Subject (of relative clause): I know the woman who wrote this book.
- Object (of verb): Whom have you invited to the conference?
- Object (of preposition): For whom is that?
Who can also refer to the object, which means that it can always replace whom—and often does in everyday usage. Whom is more formal.
Examples
- Acceptable: Who have you invited to the conference?
- Formal: Whom have you invited to the conference?
When to use who
Use who as a pronoun to refer to the subject of a question. (The subject is whom or what the sentence is about, or the performer of an action.)
Examples
- Who wants ice cream?
subject = the person wanting ice cream, referred to by the pronoun who
- Who ate all the cookies?
- Who has written this report?
- Who wants to volunteer?
- Who needs a ribbon?
- Who’s calling at this hour?
- Who was that on the phone?
- Who knows what’s going to happen?
Who is also a relative pronoun, which means it appears after a noun and helps identify or describe it. It is then used as the subject of a relative clause.
Examples
- The girl who ate all the cookies is now drinking all the milk.
“Who ate all the cookies” is a relative clause, the subject of which is “who,” which refers to the girl.
- I once knew a woman who could swallow a sword.
- Those who live in wooden houses shouldn’t throw stones either.
- Do you know anybody who lives in Spain?
- The person who claims to know everything knows nothing.
- I don’t know who wrote this report.
- Lulu, who loves to bake, has opened her own bakery.
- Lulu is throwing a party for a friend of hers who just won an award.
When to use whom
Use whom as the object of a verb in a question. (The object is the person or thing affected by the action of the verb.)
Examples
- Whom did you invite instead?
object of the verb invite = the person being invited
- Whom should we call?
- Whom are we planning to promote this year?
- Whom can we contact to get this resolved?
Whom is also used as the object of a preposition (words like with, for, about, etc.)—that is, the person or thing referenced by the preposition.
Examples
- With whom did you speak?
object of the preposition with = the person you spoke with
- To whom am I speaking?
- About whom are we talking?
- At whom are you targeting this marketing campaign?
Like who, whom is also a relative pronoun (links a noun to its description), but it refers to the object instead of the subject in a relative clause.
Examples
- Your representative, whom I spoke with yesterday, refused to process the refund.
object of the preposition with in the relative clause = the person I spoke with
- The man, whom we never should have trusted, drove away with our car.
- Police are still searching for the robbers, many of whom are on the run.
- Anita, whom you nominated for that award, has left the company.
Who instead of whom
Who can always replace whom in a sentence, and often does in everyday usage, where whom can sound overly formal and even a bit pompous. In questions especially, who replaces whom in speech.
Example
- Acceptable: Who do you love?
Formal: Whom do you love?
As the object of a preposition as well, it is more natural to use who in speech and move the preposition to the end.
Example
- Acceptable: Who were you talking to?
Formal: To whom were you talking?
Even in formal contexts, whom is used more often with a preposition (about, from, for, at, etc.) than as the object of a verb. (Such sentences are seen more often in writing than in speech.)
Examples
- He lived happily with his wife, about whom he knew nothing.
- She said she had a sister in Spain from whom she was now estranged.
As the object of a verb, who is often the more natural choice (although whom is more formal).
Examples
- Rita, who I’ve known since childhood, has won an Oscar.
Whom would be more formal.
- The witnesses, who she finally tracked down, refused to testify.
- We are going on holiday with the Harrises, who we met last year at a resort.
If you are not sure whether to use who or whom, simply use who. Using who instead of whom is never wrong, but you can’t always use whom in place of who.
Incorrect use of whom
Because whom is thought to be more formal, people sometimes incorrectly use it in place of who. Don’t use whom to refer to the subject, even in formal usage; always use who in this position.
Examples
- Incorrect: Whom are you?
Use who, not whom, for the subject.
Correct: Who are you? - Incorrect: The commentator, whom was an expert in the field, provided additional guidance.
Use who as the subject, the person that this clause is about.
Correct: The commentator, who was an expert in the field, provided additional guidance. - Incorrect: I have never met anyone whom isn’t looking for answers.
Correct: I have never met anyone who isn’t looking for answers. - Incorrect: The man, whom I thought was a doctor, stole my purse.
Correct: The man, who I thought was a doctor, stole my purse. - Incorrect: My mother decided whom my friends were.
Correct: My mother decided who my friends were.
How to choose between who and whom
To easily choose between who and whom, a quick trick is to form a question and frame its answer. If the answer is a subject pronoun such as he, she, or they, what you are referring to is the subject, which requires who. But if the answer is an object pronoun like him, her, or them, what you have is the object, which means you use whom in formal usage.
Examples
- Who/whom ate the spider?
“
Heate the spider,” not “Him ate the spider.” Since he works and him doesn’t, you should use
whonot whom.
- The girl who/whom stole Rita’s cape thinks she is a superhero.
Form a question: “Who stole the cape?” Frame an answer: “She/
Herstole it.” Since she works and her doesn’t, use
whonot whom.
- Who/whom did Lulu invite for dinner?
“She invited
them,” not “She invited they.” Prefer whom in formal writing.
Examples from literature
Here are some examples that show how who is used as the subject in a sentence, and how whom is preferred over who in edited prose as the object of a verb or a preposition.
Examples
There have to be those who witness the art, who love and appreciate what they have been privileged to see.
— Ann Patchett, Bel Canto (2001)
It’s like the people who believe they’ll be happy if they go and live somewhere else, but who learn it doesn’t work that way.
— Neil Gaiman, The Graveyard Book (2008)
He looked as if it were he who was receiving a gift.
— Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Half of a Yellow Sun (2006)
Maybe it isn’t really about who can own whom, who can do what to whom and get away with it.... Maybe it’s about who can do what to whom and be forgiven for it.
— Margaret Atwood, The Handmaid’s Tale (1985)
There are few people whom I really love, and still fewer of whom I think well.
— Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice (1813)
We don’t ask what a woman does; we ask whom she belongs to.
— George Eliot, The Mill on the Floss (1860)
There was no one to whom he could explain that in order to survive he needed to be at altitude, a Himalayan altitude, so he might breathe.
— Anita Desai, The Artist of Disappearance (2011)I’m not a teacher: only a fellow-traveller of whom you asked the way.
— George Bernard Shaw, Getting Married (1908)
Whoever or whomever?
In formal writing, use whoever to refer to the subject and whomever as the object of a verb or a preposition.
Examples
- Subject: Whoever made this is a genius.
- Subject: Whoever has the golden ticket wins a centillion dollars.
- Subject: Whoever said life was easy never lived.
- Object (of verb): Whomever I asked said they had seen nothing.
- Object (of verb): Whomever Farley trusts betrays him.
- Object (of preposition): I will speak with whomever I please.
Just as who can always replace whom, whoever can always replace whomever as the object in a sentence. In everyday communication, whoever is used for both subject and object.
Examples
- Acceptable: You can invite whoever you like.
Formal: You can invite whomever you like. - Acceptable: Farmers must be allowed to trade with whoever they wish.
Formal: Farmers must be allowed to trade with whomever they wish.
However, in formal writing and edited prose, the distinction between whoever as subject and whomever as object is generally maintained, as seen in the following examples.
Examples
- Subject:
Whoever wishes to become a philosopher must learn not to be frightened by absurdities.
— Bertrand Russell, The Problems of Philosophy (1912)
- Object:
Goodbyes breed a sort of distaste for whomever you say goodbye to.
— Elizabeth Bowen, The House in Paris (1935)
Caution
After a preposition like to or for, writers often get whoever and whomever mixed up. Always use whoever as the subject of a clause, not whomever.
Example
- Incorrect: I’m writing this for whomever needs to hear this today.Correct: I’m writing this for whoever needs to hear this today.
The entire clause “whoever/whomever needs to hear this” is the object of the preposition for. The subject of this clause (
the personwho needs to hear this) is whoever, not whomever.
If you’re confused about using whoever or whomever, simply use whoever. Whoever can always replace whomever, but not vice versa.
Whosoever or whomsoever?
Whosoever and whomsoever are formal terms for whoever and whomever. They are almost never used anymore, except in legalese. If you find yourself tempted to use them, perhaps with humorous intent, use them correctly so as to avoid ridicule. Use whosoever to refer to the subject, and whomsoever for the object.
Examples
- Subject: Whosoever believes is promised ice-cream.
- Subject: Let the fleas of a thousand donkeys infest my enemies, whosoever they may be.
- Object (of verb): We shall accept whomsoever you choose to be king.
- Object (of preposition): To whomsoever it may concern...
